been thinking about what fatherhood will mean to me,
found this on the back of an old schoolbook cover:
If a child lives with criticism
He learns to condemn
If a child lives with hostility
He learns to fight
If a child lives with ridicule
He learns to be shy
If a child lives with shame
He learns to feel guilty
If a child lives with tolerance
He learns to be patient
If a child lives with encouragement
He learns confidence
If a child lives with praise
He learns to appreciate
If a child lives with fairness
He learns justice
If a child lives with approval
He learns to like himself
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship
He learns to find love in the world.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
My Spell Checker (a popular forward)
Eye have a spelling chequer.
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue.
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight for it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
It's rare lea ever wrong,
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no.
It's letter perfect awl the weigh.
My chequer told me sew.
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue.
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight for it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
It's rare lea ever wrong,
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no.
It's letter perfect awl the weigh.
My chequer told me sew.
Inner Space: The Pen-ultimate Frontier
Where does it all go when there are things left unsaid or unresolved that make you feel incomplete inside? Trust me on this one but everything that has ever been left incomplete just hangs around staying incomplete. In the world of words, things left unsaid remain until they find an opportunity (through you) to get said. I hope you haven’t but here is the best example of incompleteness; if you have a dead loved one whom you wish you could say something to but cannot because they are gone.
I had a sister who passed away, since she was before my time, I grew up wondering what it would have been like if she was still around. There were things I desperately wanted to say to her about how the family felt and changed after her, and how we still thought and spoke of her. Some more whimsical things about how things would have been different if she was around. I lived on so, with these things inside me which had nowhere to go or no one to listen to.
I have also seen people estranged from their families with no intentions of ever getting together again go through life and was always struck by how they seemed unaware of what was missing in them. I believe that people always carry their problems with them, in one way or the other.
Even if they leave their problems behind, they cannot help but carry the part of them which has been shaped by the problem. The pain of dealing with problems contributes to our identity and sense of self.
Now step back and see life as a never-ending conversation you are constantly having with everyone around you and even with yourself, inside of your own head. The part within the mind is also known as ‘internal dialogue.’
The two most pertinent things to internal dialogue in this conversation we are having (You are reading this, aren’t you?) is the fact that we are always the central character in the story of our lives. You won’t mind agreeing to that but you will certainly deny it when I tell you that the central character in the story of our lives is usually or naturally a tragic one.
It’s not anyone’s fault. Just look at our cultures, arts and literature; tragedies are considered seriously while comic material is never taken seriously. Even sad old Hindi film songs are considered more meaningful than a current peppy and happy song. It’s not like you cannot change the plot in the story of your life from a tragic to a happy one. You just have to empathically and positively do so.
Yet everyday we come across people with the same old problems. The impossible diet, the hometown in the hills they miss so terribly, the brother they never got in touch with for the past twenty years, the way the people they stay with are treating them, their salary, their mother-in-law, their city, their planet…all things they are continually grumbling about or smarting under but haven’t done a thing to fix. Ever wonder why they carry on the way they do? Ever wonder why you are happy to live with an obvious problem rather than solve it? You might want to take it slowly at this point and read this bit again just to be sure you are getting what I describe.
Well, they do not change because they are getting something out of it. Sometimes they know what little kickback or reward they get from putting up with a problem but usually they do not. Albert Einstein once remarked that ‘we cannot solve our problems at the same level of thinking at which we found them.’
It takes brutal honesty with yourself to tell yourself that you are not dieting because you have not got the discipline (or maybe the motivation). You never went back to the hometown in the hills because you cannot stand the narrow-minded folks back there and enjoy the lifestyle which a city pay-packet can afford you. You broke contact with your brother in the first place and you dread apologizing. You can always try and fix your salary but that would mean hard work, humility or quitting for a bigger salary…until in the end it is just too convenient to dump toxic waste in the garbage pail, in a drain, in river, in the ocean, you name it. It would be scary to be responsible for the entire planet.
Ever chucked a pair of Duracell batteries away? Well, try and imagine what nickel and cadmium can do to your skin on direct contact. Better we just dump this here and let it be Somebody Else’s Problem* which means no matter what happens, we ignore it. If we try and do something about it we just might have to change. Change our situation, location, our idea of what is right and wrong, our idea of who we are, our relationship with another person, our instinctive reaction to hit back and
‘who-do-they-think-they-are’ ego-based responses.
Too much about your problems, eh? Maybe I need to put my ego aside here and make a confession just to re-assure you. If you must know, my secret is that I do not know how to drive a car. I never learn't, so that is also behind my whole biker stance in life. Anyway, enough about me and internal dialogue, let’s get to the part which is outside our heads; that concerning the rest of the world and the people around us.
Now let’s quickly wrap up a couple of crucial continuums. We need to be aware what is behind our thoughts, words and actions. For example, the salesman who is meeting targets is sure to do worse than the one who is out to convince the client that his product is just what the client needed.
Let me try and convince you a little further. IF what is behind your conversation with another person is a desperate need to make yourself right, then everything that the other person says will be judged by you and used to prove yourself right. IF you are out to prove the other person wrong, you shall filter out all but those bits that give you a better argument. However, you sincerely listen with an open mind; both you and the other person learn something. Sometimes, you can still do the same actions, but if you adjust what is behind you, you can actually change the outcome.
Still not convinced because you tried it and it did not work? That is because you did not give it enough commitment. Yes, that’s right. Before the hard work comes the commitment to hard work.
Sometimes the commitment to hard work is really hard work but seriously, quite a few people we consider great in the history of the world have kept themselves committed over a period of years and sometimes in impossible conditions or situations. That is the power of commitment. Just tell any mother they cannot possibly assure the well being of their children and they will tell you how they jolly well intend to give it their best, if not tell you to go jump in the river or ask their husbands to deal with you.
If you can find an equal degree of commitment, you might loose but you will never be defeated. Before you start to take some of this and use it to win fights or dominate situations by pretending to be sincerely listening, let me tell you that you need to learn a lot about being aware of what is behind you. You see, the idea is to always keep what is bigger than you behind you. Over long-term, it usually the better ones who win: those who are just, those who have stronger principles, more support, are in better alignment with the way things work or just plain better intentions.
I had a sister who passed away, since she was before my time, I grew up wondering what it would have been like if she was still around. There were things I desperately wanted to say to her about how the family felt and changed after her, and how we still thought and spoke of her. Some more whimsical things about how things would have been different if she was around. I lived on so, with these things inside me which had nowhere to go or no one to listen to.
I have also seen people estranged from their families with no intentions of ever getting together again go through life and was always struck by how they seemed unaware of what was missing in them. I believe that people always carry their problems with them, in one way or the other.
Even if they leave their problems behind, they cannot help but carry the part of them which has been shaped by the problem. The pain of dealing with problems contributes to our identity and sense of self.
Now step back and see life as a never-ending conversation you are constantly having with everyone around you and even with yourself, inside of your own head. The part within the mind is also known as ‘internal dialogue.’
The two most pertinent things to internal dialogue in this conversation we are having (You are reading this, aren’t you?) is the fact that we are always the central character in the story of our lives. You won’t mind agreeing to that but you will certainly deny it when I tell you that the central character in the story of our lives is usually or naturally a tragic one.
It’s not anyone’s fault. Just look at our cultures, arts and literature; tragedies are considered seriously while comic material is never taken seriously. Even sad old Hindi film songs are considered more meaningful than a current peppy and happy song. It’s not like you cannot change the plot in the story of your life from a tragic to a happy one. You just have to empathically and positively do so.
Yet everyday we come across people with the same old problems. The impossible diet, the hometown in the hills they miss so terribly, the brother they never got in touch with for the past twenty years, the way the people they stay with are treating them, their salary, their mother-in-law, their city, their planet…all things they are continually grumbling about or smarting under but haven’t done a thing to fix. Ever wonder why they carry on the way they do? Ever wonder why you are happy to live with an obvious problem rather than solve it? You might want to take it slowly at this point and read this bit again just to be sure you are getting what I describe.
Well, they do not change because they are getting something out of it. Sometimes they know what little kickback or reward they get from putting up with a problem but usually they do not. Albert Einstein once remarked that ‘we cannot solve our problems at the same level of thinking at which we found them.’
It takes brutal honesty with yourself to tell yourself that you are not dieting because you have not got the discipline (or maybe the motivation). You never went back to the hometown in the hills because you cannot stand the narrow-minded folks back there and enjoy the lifestyle which a city pay-packet can afford you. You broke contact with your brother in the first place and you dread apologizing. You can always try and fix your salary but that would mean hard work, humility or quitting for a bigger salary…until in the end it is just too convenient to dump toxic waste in the garbage pail, in a drain, in river, in the ocean, you name it. It would be scary to be responsible for the entire planet.
Ever chucked a pair of Duracell batteries away? Well, try and imagine what nickel and cadmium can do to your skin on direct contact. Better we just dump this here and let it be Somebody Else’s Problem* which means no matter what happens, we ignore it. If we try and do something about it we just might have to change. Change our situation, location, our idea of what is right and wrong, our idea of who we are, our relationship with another person, our instinctive reaction to hit back and
‘who-do-they-think-they-are’ ego-based responses.
Too much about your problems, eh? Maybe I need to put my ego aside here and make a confession just to re-assure you. If you must know, my secret is that I do not know how to drive a car. I never learn't, so that is also behind my whole biker stance in life. Anyway, enough about me and internal dialogue, let’s get to the part which is outside our heads; that concerning the rest of the world and the people around us.
Now let’s quickly wrap up a couple of crucial continuums. We need to be aware what is behind our thoughts, words and actions. For example, the salesman who is meeting targets is sure to do worse than the one who is out to convince the client that his product is just what the client needed.
Let me try and convince you a little further. IF what is behind your conversation with another person is a desperate need to make yourself right, then everything that the other person says will be judged by you and used to prove yourself right. IF you are out to prove the other person wrong, you shall filter out all but those bits that give you a better argument. However, you sincerely listen with an open mind; both you and the other person learn something. Sometimes, you can still do the same actions, but if you adjust what is behind you, you can actually change the outcome.
Still not convinced because you tried it and it did not work? That is because you did not give it enough commitment. Yes, that’s right. Before the hard work comes the commitment to hard work.
Sometimes the commitment to hard work is really hard work but seriously, quite a few people we consider great in the history of the world have kept themselves committed over a period of years and sometimes in impossible conditions or situations. That is the power of commitment. Just tell any mother they cannot possibly assure the well being of their children and they will tell you how they jolly well intend to give it their best, if not tell you to go jump in the river or ask their husbands to deal with you.
If you can find an equal degree of commitment, you might loose but you will never be defeated. Before you start to take some of this and use it to win fights or dominate situations by pretending to be sincerely listening, let me tell you that you need to learn a lot about being aware of what is behind you. You see, the idea is to always keep what is bigger than you behind you. Over long-term, it usually the better ones who win: those who are just, those who have stronger principles, more support, are in better alignment with the way things work or just plain better intentions.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Dive
[verse 1.]
With a heart like a nail
She made her point
Then I could not feel
When I could join in
[verse 2.]
In front of a mountain
Can you still feel the breeze
She asked me a question
Said can you repeat that please
[bridge.]
I don't know when I'll hit the end
I can see my shadow as down I went
[chorus.]
Dive, honey, dive, into your eyes
While I hurtle, raindrops fall like sighs (x2)
[interlude.]
In a lonely corner of the sky
Where no one can
Deny the moon
I can still hear her cry
Inside the room
[solo.]
[bridge.]
The stars stand out like question marks
On a broken mirror sky of discontent
[chorus.]
Dive, honey, dive, into your eyes
While I fall, raindrops like sighs (x2)
Dive, dive, dive
Raindrops fall like sighs
While I hurtle
Into your eyes
Dive, dive, dive.
With a heart like a nail
She made her point
Then I could not feel
When I could join in
[verse 2.]
In front of a mountain
Can you still feel the breeze
She asked me a question
Said can you repeat that please
[bridge.]
I don't know when I'll hit the end
I can see my shadow as down I went
[chorus.]
Dive, honey, dive, into your eyes
While I hurtle, raindrops fall like sighs (x2)
[interlude.]
In a lonely corner of the sky
Where no one can
Deny the moon
I can still hear her cry
Inside the room
[solo.]
[bridge.]
The stars stand out like question marks
On a broken mirror sky of discontent
[chorus.]
Dive, honey, dive, into your eyes
While I fall, raindrops like sighs (x2)
Dive, dive, dive
Raindrops fall like sighs
While I hurtle
Into your eyes
Dive, dive, dive.
