home once again after a full day of story-boarding at work. walk dog, wonder aloud and no longer feel. rebuild my life void of rabid hounds of hell since I have been taken too far. it’s the same world, I am on my own and pretty clear on how people can get or be. I gotta get a routine, liquidity and build layers around my core of peace. at least I’ve set off and left another shore. It’s strange, from rebel without a cause to rebel without a spouse. Still I have other things to do like managing life as a HR vendor employee hired out to corporates. This current one is a four month contract and I am mortally worried about the paperwork between me and the HR firm that has hired me out as my documentation is not yet done. I still have to get a copy of my bloody college degree and for that I have to go to college and for that I need the time. Currently Saturdays are spent catching up on sleep and cooking and Sundays are spent hanging around the washing machine. It’s a slow, agonizing journey back to the light I volunteered away when my father died and now have chosen to go back to since my mother recently passed away. Two strange gateposts through which the rest of my life passed. Somewhere in the middle I had my own family too. Now it’s far from done but at least my assumptions about myself and what I am worth have been right. All that remains is to polish the skills I grew tired of. I have literally been through and forgotten so many things that it succeeded in allowing me to have four lifetimes in one. If I had collected all I learned, I would have an encyclopedic law book. Instead I make do with a handy booklet of principles and an absolutely reflective attitude to the rules of the game. Still I know the outlines of my personality and no longer wish to let it distend by circumstance and causative irk. My expanding funnel of work is my only disconnect from the jawbone of being. So much so that the two hours it takes to get to work are spent peacefully in the company of ‘allo allo’ and Lucky Luke.